I should hate everything about my new roommate.  She is loud, shrill, a compulsive neat-freak, and from New Jersey.  Give her halitosis and a non-ironic affinity for Glen Beck and the girl is my worst nightmare walking.

We moved in together because she is living with one of my best friends from college.  I was interested in living in another part of the city, and their third roommate was living upstate for the summer.  Moving in NYC is no treat; and doing so in summer is about as much fun as a riding the subway with a freshly soiled infant.  After thirty seven trips on the cross-town bus, I opened a beer and settled onto the frayed futon.  My body sagged into the sad crack while I pondered the laziest way to remove my shoes.

At seemingly the exact instant when I had resigned myself to a bowl of dry cereal and sleeping in my jeans, she ripped open her door with the force of a tween’s first Justin Bieber sighting and said “ROOMIE!!!!!”  Her fourth glass of wine teetering from her partially manicured hand trembled as she went in for a hug, and then retreated upon the discovery that I was utterly damp with sweat.

“OH MY GOSH HOW ARE YOU WELCOME WELCOME I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU TO BE HERE DO YOU WANT SOME WINE OR CHEESE OR MAYBE ANOTHER BEER YOU MUST BE EXHAUSTED SIT DOWN HOW ARE YOU WELCOME!!!!!!!”

I was instantly daunted – but the bitch grew on me.

Last week the three roommates plus one ventured up to Sterling New York near Lake Ontario to see a friend perform in a Renaissance Festival.  In that my friends and I are hippies, we decided to go camping in a teepee.  She was game, but definitely a bit freaked out.  She borrowed someone’s hairdryer in the communal thatched bathroom.

While there, my San Franciscan counterparts and I could think of no better activity than to go skinny dipping in the ocean sized lake.  My roommate’s response was a combination of deeply furrowed brow, the exclamation “EWUGH!!!!” and then finally with fearful resignation, “Wait seriously?”

We jumped into the water while she demanded a hand to hold.  Once submerged, I ripped off my suit with glee and others followed.  But my newly christened roommate held back.  “You guys there are like fish in here.”

We laughed and told her that she had no idea what she was missing.  With much trepidation she removed her sparkly pink bikini, while never submerging the bright blue flower in her hair, and instantly smiled.  “You guys how did I NEVER KNOW how AMAZING this is!!!!!  Oh My God I LOVE YOU!!!!!!”

And I love her too.